Toad at the Bottom of the Stairs
by Silverleone
Summary: Haven't been active for a long time on the publishing part, and needed to get this out of my system. Basically, Rei Taiki (my OC) is done with Dolores Umbridge, and he tears into her. This should be good. More details inside! Enjoy!


Hello all!

Now, I know it's been a LONG time since I've done anything with Fanfiction other than reading, but I've hit one of the biggest road blocks in my life. Okay, it's not a road block, but more of a point in time when I will completely disappear for two full YEARS. If any of you can guess what it is, then good for you!!

But back into the main point. Since I will be leaving for two years, I don't want to just start a story, only to have to stop in a few months. SO, I will be doing multiple one-shots that have been running through my head. A few of them in particular, is when Rai, my best OC, will pit himself against some of the worst villains in the popular series, Harry Potter. Umbridge, Lucius Malfoy, Bellatrix Lestrange, and finally Voldemort.

Alright, now that that is out of the way, on with the one-shots!

Snape was once again prodding Harry, dragging his name throughout the metaphorical dirt. I had had just about enough of it, having heard the same thing over and over since the beginning of the year...

Harry and I suddenly heard a muffled commotion coming from what we thought might be the Entrance Hall. Snape looked round at us, frowning.

'Did you see anything unusual on your way down here, Potter, Taiki?'

Harry shook his head, and I just shrugged. Somewhere above us, the woman screamed again. Snape strode to his office door, his wand held at the ready, and swept out of sight. Harry and I made eye contact, hesitated for a moment, then headed out of the classroom.

The screams were indeed coming from the Entrance Hall; they grew louder as us two boys ran towards the stone steps leading up from the dungeons. When we reached the top they found the Entrance Hall packed; students had come flooding out of the Great Hall, where dinner was still in progress, to see what was going on; others had crammed themselves on to the marble staircase. Harry and I pushed forwards through a knot of tall Slytherins and saw that the onlookers had formed a great ring, some of them looking shocked, others even frightened. Professor McGonagall was directly opposite of us, on the other side of the Hall; she looked as though what she was watching made her feel faintly sick.

Professor Trelawney was standing in the middle of the Entrance Hall with her wand in one hand and an empty sherry bottle in the other, looking utterly mad. Her hair was sticking up on end, her glasses were lopsided so that one eye was magnified more than the other; her innumerable shawls and scarves were trailing haphazardly from her shoulders, giving the impression that she was falling apart at the seams. Two large trunks lay on the floor beside her, one of them upside-down; it looked very much as though it had been thrown down the stairs after her. Professor Trelawney was staring, apparently terrified, at something I could not see but which seemed to be standing at the foot of the stairs.

'No!' she shrieked. 'NO! This cannot be happening . . . it cannot . . . I refuse to accept it!'

'You didn't realise this was coming?' said a high girlish voice, sounding callously amused, and I, pushing though the crowd up to the front, saw that Trelawney's terrifying vision was nothing other than Professor Umbridge. 'Incapable though you are of predicting even tomorrows weather, you must surely have realized that your pitiful performance during my inspections, and lack of any improvement, would make it inevitable that you would be sacked?'

"No...She didn't..." I thought in honest horror.

"You c - can't!" howled Professor Trelawney, tears streaming down her face from behind her enormous lenses, "you c - can't sack me! I've b - been here sixteen years! H - Hogwarts is m - my h - home!"

"It was your home," said Professor Umbridge, and I almost leaped out of the crowd at that moment, if not for Harry grabbing my shoulder. "Until an hour ago, when the Minister for Magic countersigned your Order of Dismissal. Now kindly remove yourself from this Hall. You are embarrassing us."

But she stood and watched, with an expression of gloating enjoyment, as Professor Trelawney shuddered and moaned, rocking backwards and forwards on her trunk in paroxysms of grief. Harry and I heard a muffled sob to our left and looked over Lavender and Parvati were both crying quietly, their arms round each other. Then I heard footsteps.l, and turned to look. Professor McGonagall had broken away from the spectators, marched straight up to Professor Trelawney and was patting her firmly on the back while withdrawing a large handkerchief from within her robes.

"There, there, Sybill . . . calm down . . . blow your nose on this . . . it's not as bad as you think, now . . . you are not going to have to leave Hogwarts . . ."

"She actually did it...She sacked her..." I had enough at that point.

"HEY, UMBRIDGE!!" I shouted at the top of my lungs.

"Rei! Don't! You'll just get expelled!" Harry reached for my shoulder again, but I pulled away. I looked at him.

"I don't care," I stepped out of the crowd and glared at the toad on the stairs. "What do you think you're doing?!" Umbridge had looked over at me because of my shout a few seconds ago and was disappointed at seeing me. Suddenly a sly and evil (and disgusting) smirk drew up on her too-pink lips.

"Why, Mr. Taiki, I'm doing my job as Hogwarts High Inqusito-"

"I meant...Why are you being a bully..." Umbridge looked as if she had been slapped.

"I. Beg. Your. PARDON?!" I smirked and stepped up to Trelawney, crouching next to her and whispered so only she would hear.

"You always have been my favorite professor." I stood back up and looked over to Professor McGonagall. She was about to say something, probably reprimand me for speaking to a "professor" like that, but I had a look on my face that told her I wasn't in the mood. "Professor, if you would kindly take Trelawney back up to her room..." I left an underlying tone in my voice that said nothing would change my mind. And while she wanted to argue with me about it, she knew it would do no good.

"...Come on Sybil, let's get your stuff back in your room, you're not going anywhere." She said as she glared at Umbridge. As they were about to step past the toad, she stepped in front of them.

"I'm sorry, but since Ms. Trelawney has been relieved of her duties as a professor at Hogwarts. She shall no longer be on the grounds."

"You can't do that, Umbridge..." I still stood by Trelawney's trunks. I had stayed crouched. Picking up anything that had fallen out of the trunks, and was putting them back in place. When Umbridge spoke, something snapped in my head, and I had frozen for a second.

"What ever could you mean, Taiki?" Umbridge looked as though she wanted to hex me to yesteryear.

"I mean, you don't have the right, nor power, to ban Professor Trelawney, from the grounds. Those powers remain with the Headmaster." I had stood up by now, and had steadily walked closer to the three witches on the stairs. I was done with her crap, and I was gonna do something about it.

"..." Umbridge had started to turn a lovely shade of pink to match her attire. She started to slowly walk towards me at this point, trying to intimidate me. "How. Dare you. Speak back to me like that! I am appointed by the Minister of Magic to make sure this school is in. Tip. Top. Shape. And if any students, or faculty, are not up to par, I have been given the power to, according to your lack of vocabulary, sack those who do not stand up to the demands of the recommen-"

"Shut up." The whole student body, including the staff, gasped at my words. Immediately there were whispers about what was going to happen to me. I simply chuckled darkly.

"You-...how. DARE. YOU SPEAK TO ME IN SUCH A MANNER, YOU ARE A STUDENT OF THIS BODY, AND AS SUCH, YOU WILL RESPECT YOUR PROFES-"

"Do you know something I loathe, Umbridge? Do you? Well, let me tell you. I hate self entitled, nosy, arrogant, spiteful, PRATS. And as such...I. HATE. YOU!" At this point Umbridge was leaning back because I had forced my face into hers. I backed up a few steps and wiped my nose with the back of my gloved hand. "Heh, even the air around you is stale." All anyone could do was stare in shock that I had spoken to a professor, to Umbridge, no less, in such a manner. The grounds were silent for a few minutes while everyone was processing the words that now filled everyone's ears. I got sick of waiting and looked over to McGonagall who was holding up Trelawney.

"Why, are you, still, here...?" I asked. I wasn't threatening the two professors, but I had lost most of my patient with Umbridge's last little rant, and the rest was slowly slipping. The two professors stopped staring and McGonagall hurried Trelawney up the stairs and into the castle. Good, now that their gone... I turned around and it seemed as though I was walking away, but I turned back around after a few steps, which put me in the middle of the courtyard, and crossed my arms. The look on the toad's face was priceless! She looked as though she didn't know how to even function properly anymore.

"What's the matter Umbridge?" I couldn't help myself, the joke was there, I HAD to make it. "Cat got your tongue...?" Almost immediately I was dodging a red colored spell flying towards me. I spun on my left heel out of the way, and when my right foot landed, my wand was out, ready for action, though it looked like I had done nothing but spin, as I kept it hidden in my robes. Umbridge's face was almost every shade of red. And I almost broke out laughing at the way she somehow made herself even uglier than before. With her unusually short wand pointed at me, she was shaking so hard I thought she would drop it.

"Professor, you would attack a student?! And you were just rambling how the Minister had picked you for himself. Imagine the look on his face if he heard bout you, of all people, attacking an unprepared student." I was smirking as she somehow got even redder in the face.

"How DARE you speak to me like that. How DARE you speak as if I am dirt on your shoes! You have NO IDEA what I am capable of Boy, and you. Will. Respect. Me!" The whole time she was shrieking, I looked around the student body, making sure everyone was watching. This should be good.

"I think I won't." I grinned like a mad man, two front canines glinted in the sun. "In fact, I don't think you've EARNED my respect."

"WHAT?!?!"

"Hmm...yeah, no. I will not respect you. You have not earned it. I have a certain saying I live by. 'Give those the respect they deserve.' You have not earned my respect, Umbridge, so I shall not respect you." As I was saying this, she somehow got her face to a "normal" color, but I could tell she still wasn't sure what to do. She was in a rut, she never had anyone this disrespectful speak to her. "I bet you're wondering how the other professors have gained my respect. I'll tell you. First and foremost, Headmaster Dumbledore. He showed me the magical world, and taught me how to survive without getting my butt hexed off around every corner." I chuckled, "that advice went in one ear, and right out the other. The next professor I respect, my head of House, Professor McGonagall. She took me into her Transfiguration class without hesitation, even when I was having more trouble than most students. After her, and this might surprise you...Professor Snape." I heard the student body gasp, and saw a few people look at Snape, who was standing off to the side, not willing step into the middle of a firing range. His eyebrows were raised in a very obvious manner, almost looking legitimately shocked, almost as much as any of the students. I nodded to him and faced forward again. "Professor Snape...has taught in a position that he didn't want at first, and still doesn't. But he persevered and stuck with being the Potions professor, in hope that the D.A.D.A. position would open up in due time. He put up with us imbeciles for years." A lot of people nodded, seeing the point I was trying to make. Umbridge looked scared and started sweating slightly. I smirked at her nervousness. I listed each and every one of the professors I had met in the school. Each and every one of them had gained my respect. Each professor was mentioned, and who ever liked that professor, called out in agreement at what I said. Each and every time, Umbridge stepped back. Each and every time, I stepped forward twice. At one point, Umbridge walked too far back and fell on the stairs. Eventually, I reached the end of the list of faculty, with one more professor to go. I stopped about five feet in front of Umbridge, and waited for the student body to quiet down. I want everyone to hear this. I glared at Umbridge and spoke. "Lastly, Professor Trelawney...yes, Umbridge, even she gained my respect. And do you know why?" She slowly shook her head, knowing that it was literally 1000 to one. I grinned and broke out into laughter. Everyone was confused and I laughed even harder, throwing my head back with my hands on my sides. I suddenly threw my head back down, looking the toad in the face, grinning madly. _"It's cause she knows how to mess with people!"_

The whole school was absolutely silent. Umbridge trembling in fear.

"Do you know how she messes with people?! Huh?! I'll tell you!! She is _fantastic_ at her job! But, students get bored listening to her for a whole class period, while she is actually spitting out fortune after fortune! It's like she doesn't care what people think of her, just as long as someone hears her speak!"

Again, the grounds fell silent. I'll stood up properly and solution a few steps back. I turned to the students.

"Here's the kicker! ALL OF YOU FELL FOR IT!!!" I yelled, swinging my arm out at the crowd. Most of the students obviously felt bad, and looked at the ground.

"Now...back to the gain pink...problem, at hand," I waited for most of the students to look back up at me. "Who doesn't like this toad here at OUR SCHOOL?!" There was a moment of silence. Then Harry stepped out of the crowd and walked up to me. Next, Ron ad Hermione followed. Stepping out of the crowd, came Luna Lovegood, Ginny Weasley, and Neville Longbottom. The latter two looked scared, while Luna looked indifferent to everything. As normal. Soon more students started stepping forward. As more and more of the students moved forward, I turned toward the one true enemy of the school. I was about to open my mouth, when I felt a hand on my shoulder. When I looked up, I saw, to my honest surprise, Professor Snape. I grinned at him, and an honest smile, while small, showed on his face. I turned to the toad at the bottom of the stairs (--title, right there XD) and calmly said something she never thought she would hear.

"Well...looks like that school you tried so hard to perfect, just...doesn't want you here. You created this Umbridge. You turned the ENTIRETY of the school against you. Now, before they decide to get their hands dirty, I suggest that you pack up all of your little kitty plates, your pink wallpaper, and your arrogant, probably now broken, self.

And.

Leave." The school itself seemed to call out in agreement as the students cheered.

After a few minutes, Umbridge slowly stood up, brushing herself off while shaking. She tried to straighten herself out, but she was so flustered and confused that it didn't matter. The entire school watched as she slowly made her way up the stairs to the castle gates. When she was about ten steps from the landing, the Headmaster and Headmistress stepped out, along with Trelawney and all of the other staff. Umbridge stopped and looked at them. From my vantage point, all of the faculty at the door were extremely confused. Umbridge tried to casually walk up the rest of the stairs, as if nothing had happen. But, and by the sound of the voices a couple of Weasley twins are at fault, two spells went flying out of the crowd, striking Umbridge in her pink covered tush, and sent her flying up the rest of the stairs. She landed on her face as the faculty started on in shock. The whole student body cracked up laughing.

"And that Headmaster, is what happened." I said as I was sitting in Umbridge's old office, wallpaper not included. The student body had elected that I get free reign over it until the newest D.A.D.A. was appointed. Dumbledore sat across from me, a blank look on his face.

"...You really said all of those things, Mr. Taiki?"

"I will not lie to you professor, I may have edited some of the words out...for your sake of course."

"Well, this is quite the predicament we are in, isn't it Mr. Taiki?" There it is, that twinkle in his eye that can soften the hardest of gazes.

"I do apologize for losing your D.A.D.A. professor. But, she was ruining the school, and that had to be stopped."

"Yes, well...I'm sure we'll find a replacement... _very_ soon..." Oh no...not that look! I know that look!!

"...you don't mean..." I leaned back in my chair, afraid of the already obvious answer.

"Why yes, I do think you would make a great D.A.D.A. professor, don't you?" Before I could even process what he said, out the door he went.

"PROFESSORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!"

The End

I hope you all enjoyed, and expect the next one with in the next few days, maybe a week! I had a lot of fun writing this, and can't wait for the next one.

~Silverleone


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